an apology to anyone who'll listen

   It begins with a wish

and ends with a sigh.

I am in love with boys who
don't exist and girls who I sometimes
pretend are myself. Spineless,
spiteful, and one hundred percent
sporadic,

   I'm becoming undone.

When I was
younger I thought it
was a sin if
your parents didn't
love each other. Now I
know that it's
just the way this world works.

    And hell,

I need you right now;

    to tell me that
    gaining four pounds in
    three days is typical

    to tell me that
    living in a dream every
    second is perfectly okay

    to tell me that
    I'm normal, that I'm
    still sane, that I'm not
    going to close my
    eyes one day and never
    open them again.

Don't look at me.

   Please, just
 don't look
at me.
  I can't remember
    the last time I
       had no regrets.