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   It begins with a wish

and ends with a sigh.

I am in love with boys who
don't exist and girls who I sometimes
pretend are myself. Spineless,
spiteful, and one hundred percent
sporadic,

   I'm becoming undone.

When I was
younger I thought it
was a sin if
your parents didn't
love each other. Now I
know that it's
just the way this world works.

    And hell,

I need you right now;

    to tell me that
    gaining four pounds in
    three days is typical

    to tell me that
    living in a dream every
    second is perfectly okay

    to tell me that
    I'm normal, that I'm
    still sane, that I'm not
    going to close my
    eyes one day and never
    open them again.

Don't look at me.

   Please, just
 don't look
at me.
  I can't remember
    the last time I
       had no regrets.
I don't know who (what) I am anymore and I'm sorry.
I wish you were here and not just in my head.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsilent--songbird:
Silent--Songbird Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing, truly beautifyl
Reply
:icongeraniumpickle:
Geraniumpickle Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
Pfft. Reality is for losers, who doesn't want to live in a dream? XD
Reply
:iconbluefireballs:
BlueFireballs Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014   Writer
This is so beautiful. 
Reply
:iconcavalary1684:
cavalary1684 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
Not looking at it as poetry, just as something personal being said, and...
With the world being like it is, even nightmares are at times a better option, not to mention dreams. It'd still be a good idea to at least sometimes try to poke out of them for however long you can to try to turn them into more than dreams though, even if it's difficult and generally unrewarding. The only battle certainly lost is the one not fought, after all.
As for sanity and being normal, why would you want to be? Sane, normal people made and maintain this world as it is. Would you want to be one of them? Even when you know what their very existence does to those who are not?
And having regrets means that you care, usually about something and/or someone other than yourself.
Reply
:iconlilyhellsing:
LilyHellsing Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
Love the structure...
Reply
:iconluca0483:
luca0483 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Honesty is nice when you can get it
but i suck at being honest so i'll give you what my heart says.

To me, it isn't typical to gain four pounds in three days,
because i allmost never gain anyway
and to me, 
living in a dream every second is selfish,
because it's only worth something to others if you come out of it and share.

You're different.

But even though i don't 
gain four pounds in three days
and even though i don't live in a dream every second.

i do grow
and i do think,
i do dream, hope and believe.

So i cannot say if you're sane,
that is only known by you,
but i can express just how gratefull i am
for you being the person who do what you do.

You're appreciated.

But it doesn't come without a price.
Through your actions and words, you have shown yourself to the world.

I see you and i judge you,
but keep the judgement to myself.
I put it into every step i take from here,
every piece on the shelf,
everything i do
and say.

you're an inspiration.

The suffering shouldn't beautiful,
but that isn't what i'm trying to subject,
even though many people think differently.

I have just heard the phrase:
"i am the world"
one too many times,
and so i believe pain should be equally shared.

So i come here with my comment,
or maybe more like a reply,
and i try to apologise
so that maybe we can be more equal.

Because i am literally certified crazy and i believe in a better world.

You're sane relatively to me (most probably).

I'm truly sorry for posting on a dead piece of poetry.
Reply
:iconwolfxbutterfly:
WolfxButterfly Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart: 
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013

I am in love with boys who
don't exist and girls who I sometimes
pretend are myself. Spineless,
spiteful, and one hundred percent
sporadic,

 

This is me.

 

The emotion in this piece is beyond any words I can muster.

Reply
:iconentitaria:
Entitaria Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I hardly ever comment (seriously need to change that habit) but this really struck home. Not to mention the fact that I love almost every single thing you've written, and honestly, I'm just happy that there are lovely people around who can write such beautiful things, such as yourself. :>
Reply
:iconintroverted-ghost:
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013   Writer
Lovely emotion.
Reply
:iconespada-kitsuki:
Espada-Kitsuki Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I forgot how to speak for a moment there.
... I love this. 
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Student Writer
You are featured here: ashwazhere-skw-agc.deviantart.… :heart:
Reply
:iconimperfect-parachute:
imperfect-parachute Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Student Writer
Wow. This is amazing. Brilliant. So powerful. Just wow.
Reply
:iconkarmachael23:
Karmachael23 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I forgive you~ now get out there and kick ass!
But seriously, get better ;)
Reply
:iconcornersofreality:
CornersOfReality Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for saying what I've been needing to hear... Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone, and that sometimes it's okay to be broken, because that's how we're fixed. So I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug? 
Reply
:iconthemoltendragon:
TheMoltenDragon Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love the honesty in your words. Its sad, but still beautiful.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :heart:
Reply
:iconmythious:
Mythious Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I appreciate the ability you have to write in a vivid manner of expression. This caught my eye, an I look forward to reading the other poems you have up as well.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconcaptaindiffley:
CaptainDiffley Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student General Artist
I felt every line in this poem because it is all true, I feel so less alone and finally have proof that other people like you exist outside my mind. I don't know who I am or if I will wake up tomorrow, but I now know that I'm not alone. Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for being brave. :heart:
Reply
:iconphyreflye:
Phyreflye Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I can't even thank you enogh. This describes so perfectly how i feel everday. I imagine the persons ilove and live in my dreamworld. Thought i was completely messed up. But you are right: It's okay. Thank you.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: Thank you as well.
Reply
:iconforgottensea:
ForgottenSea Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
I usually feel this way.Quite nice.When I feel down,or alone,or just can't interact with other people(you know how it is) I just don't know what to do. I guess I try to find poems such as this one,which tells me not to give up hope,that we are not alone :) Thanks for existing :hug:
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for existing as well :hug:
Reply
:iconarchaisbeo:
ArchaisBeo Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
mesmerizing. i like this one very much.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad :heart:
Reply
:icongoninja:
goninja Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Grow a back bone? *buh-dum-tis*
Watch cute things on youtube?
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha you're hilarious

does Markiplier count? He's cute.
Reply
:icongoninja:
goninja Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you, thank you. I'm here all night.

Well if it makes you go Awww like baby kittens or rabbits would, sure why not.
Reply
:iconarrozblanco12:
arrozblanco12 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
its sad how many people connect with this, and having every day go like this is not normal its depression, aigh if stuff like this keeps going in yalls life, talk to someone trustworthy and who will not back down to tell you you're wrong, but will be compasionate enough to listen and deal with his/her problems and yours.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thing is, some people can't find someone trustworthy enough. I have a couple, luckily, but I don't want to burden them with my problems all the time.
Reply
:iconarrozblanco12:
arrozblanco12 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student General Artist
i like 
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you
Reply
:iconmourningbirdindy:
mourningbirdindy Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You, sir. Well if you're not a sir I'll still call you sir. But you, sir, have created something beautiful right here. Thank you for the feels. I haven't had them for so long... Thank you isn't even enough. Never believe that bullsh*t that you're never good enough. Because you know what that is? It's your mind, playing tricks on you. So many people's perspectives of themselves is like looking in a funhouse mirror. And funhouse mirrors are full of crap. 
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am a lady

Thank you. Mirrors in general are full of crap.
Reply
:iconmourningbirdindy:
mourningbirdindy Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No, they're full of realism. That's almost the same thing, though. 
Reply
:iconlikelylupine:
LikelyLupine Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you, this means a lot to me. :T
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: thank you for reading.
Reply
:iconlikelylupine:
LikelyLupine Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your welcome.:)
Reply
:icontheboxmans:
theboxmans Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't worry. We're all just like you, hun.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
We should rule the world.
Reply
:icontheboxmans:
theboxmans Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
YEAH!!
Reply
:iconjulie-denka:
Julie-Denka Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Professional Filmographer
So true.
Reply
:icontheboxmans:
theboxmans Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconjulie-denka:
Julie-Denka Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Professional Filmographer
:D!
Reply
:iconnakiki:
Nakiki Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
I know this. Thank you.
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconacidspades:
AcidSpades Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
This is really good!
Reply
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